The Puerto Rican Grandparenting Experience

One abuelo makes it his life work to celebrate his culture, for his grandchildren and everyone else's

For Frank Nieves, sharing Puerto Rican culture is a priority personally and professionally. In 2001, Nieves founded PR Fiestas Patronales (translation: "Festivals of the Patrons"), a South Florida-based company that hosts Hispanic celebrations. The main event, which takes place once a year, is open to the public and includes typical carnival rides and games, along with parades, live entertainment, and meet-and-greet gatherings with community leaders.

Taking his 8-year-old grandson, Nicolas Alejandro, and 10-year-old granddaughter, Nanette, to the event is the way this abuelo, or grandfather, shares the foods, music, dancing, and colors of the prominent island in the Caribbean. “I’m very tied up with my culture,” Nieves says. “Since my grandkids are being raised in Florida, I try to teach them as much culture as possible. I’ve been very, very involved with them.”

Nieves with his family

As for his own upbringing, Nieves was born in New York but his parents decided to raise him on their home turf, so they left for Puerto Rico when Nieves was a young child. Raised in a musical family, he became a percussionist by the time he was 12, and played alongside well-known salsa singers and bands. Thus began the journey that would eventually lead to a life of entertaining the masses.

Grandparents.com: Do you remember when your first grandchild, Nanette, was born?

Frank Nieves: [My daughter] was living in Texas then and was married to someone in the military. I traveled to Texas hoping to be there when she gave birth, but I had to leave. In my absence, she was born. When Nanette was born, that was the biggest happiness.

GP: But Nanette was born with Down’s syndrome…

FN: My wife has a master’s degree in special education. She’s used to dealing with a lot of kids. I encouraged my daughter to work with her.

GP: Is Nanette sensitive to her condition?

FN: That’s my biggest challenge. It’s, like, invisible to her. I look at it like it’s
a gift.

GP: And tell me about your grandson, Nicolas Alejandro.

FN: He’s very smart, has a high IQ. He’s really good in school.

GP: What special traditions or activities do you share with your grandchildren?

FN: Well first there’s cooking, definitely. We love to eat Hispanic/Puerto Rican food. In Florida, a majority of the beans you see served are black beans — Cuban. In Puerto Rico, we use red beans. Even our pasteles are made differently. And we serve a traditional meal at Christmas: roast pork, gandules [pigeon peas] with rice. [EDITOR’S NOTE: "Pasteles" are banana leaves stuffed with stewed meat, usually pork or chicken. Cuban pastelitos are small pastries stuffed with any number of fillings, including ground meat]

Nieves and Nanette

GP: And what else?

FN: Number two, they speak Spanish — both grandchildren were raised bilingual. Third, I enjoy showing them different arts and crafts, especially cultural items from the island. People come in from the islands to make masks for different carnivals. They carry a lot of history from the island. They also take hard [vegetables] and make an instrument out of them. They call that a güiro. Fourth is the clothing. Lots of different knitted styles. And a lot of shirts with things like coquitas [small "whistling frogs"] on them. And there’s music, that’s another one. [Nanette] can learn something from the island salsa music.

GP: Does she know how to salsa?

FN: She’s not shy. We put both grandkids on stage.

GP: And do you find you spend more time with her because of her disability?

FN: I don’t separate one from the other. Anything we do, we do with both.

GP: Why do you host fiestas in South Florida?

FN: I have the fiestas because I just don’t want my culture to be lost. I hear the young generation talking about using the Puerto Rican flag but they don't know its significance. (They hang it on their cars and wear it as [a bandana] on top of their heads.) Some never had the opportunity to go to the island. So I’m taking that commitment on my shoulders and, in a bigger way, I’m doing it for my family.

GP: What changed when you became a grandparent?

FN: Being a grandparent, it’s a special love, a totally different love. It’s not like when you love your kids. It’s all about devotion. With your kids, you are always working. You don’t spend that much time with them.

GP: Would you say you are a typical Puerto Rican grandpa?

FN: That’s how it tends to be with grandparents overall in Puerto Rico: They pamper their grandchildren any way they can.