Scottish Culture - The Scottish Grandparenting Experience

Here in America, we tend to think of bagpipes and kilts, sheep and castles, haggis and shortbread when someone speaks of Scotland. But 74-year-old grandmother Vida Cameron wants to share more than just that with her grandchildren, 5-year-old Amber, in Glen Lethnot, Scotland, and 16-year-old Alexander, in northwestern Illinois.

Cameron can visit Amber by car, but Alexander has to hop a plane to spend time with Granny. She recalls taking a paddle steamer to visit her grandparents from her birthplace in Dundee to Newport, Scotland. "We also, as a family, got on our push bikes [bicycles] and cycled about 16 miles to visit my grandmother’s sister, Great Auntie Jessie, who lived alone in a lovely little but and ben [two-roomed cottage], which had no running water or electricity," she remembers. "I loved staying there. She had worked as a tailoress and usually made me some dresses during my stay. Her little house was full of such interesting treasures, and each day she would read me bits from the Bible or 'Thought for Today' and we would have real discussions about life."

Grandparents.com: How do you keep in contact with your grandson in the United States?

Vida Cameron: As soon as he was old enough I sent him Beano and Dandy comics every week and would enclose a letter with funny drawings, just to keep in close touch and give a bit of Scottish humor. I’m afraid that has given way to e-mails now, as at 16 he’s a bit too old for comics, but I do still send the annuals [hardcover books featuring a year’s worth of comic strips] for Christmas.

GP: How often to you see him?

VC: Alexander now travels over to see me every summer and we go to the northwest of Scotland to a caravan park on Achmelvich Beach, near Lochinver, which I have been going to for about 50 years. [EDITOR’S NOTE: Cameron and her friends drive caravans, essentially trailer homes, across Scotland for vacation.] We walk in the hills, go out on a boat, and meet lots of people. One boy plays the bagpipes every night! It sounds absolutely wonderful. The kids also take part in a mini Olympics.

GP: How does Alex take to these trips?

VC: Alex loves the freedom he gets there and he has made a lot of friends. They look forward to meeting up every year. He and I still pick up our special relationship from where we left off the year before.

GP: Do you think Alexander lost out on anything by living in America that he would’ve had by growing up in Scotland near you?

VC: I think Alex learns a great deal about Scotland coming here for his holidays. I love walking in the Scottish hills, and Alex does as well, but he just doesn’t seem to get the same opportunity at home.

I answer all his questions as best I can and take him to places of historical interest, but I don’t overdo it. He asks about Scottish clans and things, and especially the history of the Cameron clan.

I took him down to Glamis Castle last time he was here, but he hasn’t seen Highland dancing, nor many kilts. And he doesn’t ask about ghost stories, though some places are supposed to be haunted.

GP: Do you feel your relationship with your grandson in America is different from the one you have with your granddaughter in Scotland?

VC: Amber and I don’t manage to spend quite so much time together now that she is at school, but she still loves to come and stay for a couple of nights whenever her busy schedule permits. I would say that we are very close, and she loves the fact that Granny has time to play games with her and can behave like a child, too. We play shops, which involves us setting up a counter with little jars of plastic sweets, toffees, etc. Amber also has a little till and pretend money so she can make quite a good job of running a sweet shop. We also play hide-and-seek, dot-to-dot, and hunt-the-thimble [the Scottish version of hot-and-cold].

GP: Do Scottish grandparents differ from American grandparents?

VC: I really don’t see much difference between American and Scottish grandparents. I think the very strong bond is apparent in both places. I don’t know if American grandparents do as much looking-after while parents work.

GP: What special traditions or activities do you share with your grandchildren?

VC: One thing Amber did say was, “Why do grannies always make soup?” It appears that Granny Myra [her other grandmother] and I are both into five-a-day veg, and soup is always a very healthy midday meal.

If she was older, I’d take her to one of those fun suppers for Rabbie Burns [an annual event celebrating poet Robert Burns] on the 25th of January. There’s quite a lot of alcohol consumed at that, though.

GP: Are there grandparent customs in Scotland? If so, what are they?

VC: I’m not aware of any grandparent customs in Scotland. I think we just do what comes naturally — love them and help in their upbringing in any way we can.