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No Talent, No Patience Arts and Crafts
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(And that's a good thing)

There’s only one problem with gathering the grandchildren for a creative afternoon of craft-making and that is: Making crafts.

First off, crafty "fun" does not take an afternoon. It takes about three minutes — and then the kids want to go outside, or to the bathroom and they’re covered with glue. Or the antique lamp fringe has been cut to make a paper doll's hair. Or there’s a shower of glitter raining down on someone’s head. Or you can't find your iPhone but there is a Pop Tart-shaped thing on the table, painted bright red and studded with cotton balls: "Look, Grandma! It's a lady bug!"

And it’s ringing.

This is not to mention the time and labor it takes to prepare for that craft-making "afternoon." The purchase of things that will dry out before the next visit (tempera paints, glue nozzles), the purchase of things that you think the kids will like but they don’t (colored pencils), and the purchase of things that you end up using before they get there (usually, the macaroni).

And then there's the cleanup. Which — if you don’t really enjoy crafts, well, you're not really going to enjoy resanding your table, now bumpy with the very modeling clay that promises on its wrapper: "Won't stick to any surfaces!" A more realistic promise would be: "Won't look like a dog no matter how hard they try!" Or, "Ideal for making snakes and not much else."

Still, I know; the desire to be that grandparent you see bent over an art project with the grandmoppet is a hard one to resist. It's Rockwellian in its tug. What could be sweeter than a keepsake something-or-other the two of you made together and now it's hanging (possibly upside down) on the wall? And so, here at Grandparents.com we have come up with:

FIVE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS PROJECTS THAT REQUIRE NO GLUE, NO GLITTER, NO TALENT, AND NO PATIENCE

1) Snowmen in the Sink
This is the rare art project that ends up with the grandchild cleaner than when she began. Just plug up your bathroom sink, pour in a capful of bubble bath and turn on the water full blast. Mounds of bubbles will appear and your dear one can play with them without you having to do the whole bubble-bath-in-the-tub thing.

2) Continue to Think Sink
Come to think of it, the kitchen sink is also an ideal place for your grandkids to play. They can mix things in a bowl — cereal, ketchup, crackers — and pretend to cook. They can put drops of food coloring in glasses (plastic, please) of water to create magical potions. They can fill the sink with water and make a boat out of — I don't know. A paper cup? Half a walnut? An old sneaker with a straw for a mast? The point is: What plays in the sink, stays in the sink.

3) Get Carded
Cards can be elaborate, cut-out, stenciled affairs — or they can be as simple as a folded piece of paper covered with Magic Marker scribbles. What's amazing is that anyone who gets a card from a kid, no matter what it looks like, feels warm and fuzzy. It goes directly onto the fridge. And the kid can be a little Warhol, grinding out a whole bunch, very fast. That's a lot of brownie points for a five-minute activity.

4) Foiled Again
Forget plaster of paris. Forget papier-mâché. In fact, forget anything that starts out even vaguely moist (or French), because that's always a production. Instead, invest in a roll of tin foil and let your grandchildren take a huge piece and mash it into anything they darn well please. Since this will probably end up being some variation of a swan, put it on your mantelpiece and fold an index card in half to serve as a nameplate. Here, then, is "Swanny." Or "Bubba."

5) Ye Olde Sock
You don’t have to go to all the trouble of actually sewing buttons on a sock to make it into a puppet. Just get a really old one and stick your fingers through the holes. See? It's an animal with — arms, or tentacles. Your grandchild can elaborate by sticking stickers on it. Done!

The sky's the limit on creative laziness. Leave the serious arts-and-crafts to Martha. After your three-minute session, take the young 'uns for ice cream and you're golden.


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user comments

In our old house we had a cabinet that had all the arts and craft "stuff" in it that a child could use. The always asked if they could have craft time. We have moved and they are older now but still ask for craft time.
memommy on 08/16/08 at 05:06 PM Flag as inappropriate

Grandparents,another simple way to entertain young grandchildren is to take a large box,like the one your new computor came in.Flatten it and cover it with contact paper ,sticky side up.Presto you now have a "stage" for the "sticky dance"!Your barefoot munchkins will delight in the peculiar sensation,as they hop about. When they are finished just wipe the bottoms of their feet off with wet wipes. Don't forget the music!
gammaN on 08/22/08 at 12:53 PM Flag as inappropriate

These, no sweat, crafts are perfect for the three year olds in a grandparent's life!
ceramagrama on 08/22/08 at 02:12 PM Flag as inappropriate

I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants! I personally love arts & crafts, so when my grandchildren were wee small, I'd get frustrated to finish the project. Now that they are older it's a lot more fun. But, just in case a newbie comes along, I will cherish these no fuss, no frills crafts and I'll be laughing up my sleeve. Mamaw
MawMaw13 on 09/04/08 at 03:57 PM Flag as inappropriate

I am a cake decorator,so I have grndkids who like to learn this trade for themselves. I haven't gotten in too deep yet,but plan on doing more in the holiday time. Every year we get together in my kitchen and decorate Christmas cookies.
nannabanana on 09/16/08 at 12:32 AM Flag as inappropriate

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