Garry Marshall vs Lori Marshall: On Movie Ratings

When Garry Marshall, a writer, director, actor, and grandpa, disagrees with his daughter, Lori, a journalist, playwright, and mom, the truth becomes a laughing matter

MOM LORI: Think back. At what age did you take me to my first R-rated movie?

POP GARRY: Jaws. You hid under the seat the entire movie. And we had to fish you out when the credits rolled.

MOM LORI: No, that was PG. And, for the record, it was Scott who was scared, not me. Think of an R-rated movie.

POP GARRY: The Exorcist?

MOM LORI: Never saw it.

POP GARRY: You never saw The Exorcist? Where Linda Blair’s head spins around and she spews this green...

MOM LORI: Dad! Think! It must have been a big event. I remember my first PG movie was The Lords of Flatbush with Sylvester Stallone and Henry Winkler. But I can’t remember my first "R."

POP GARRY: What about Carrie?

MOM LORI: I never saw Carrie.

POP GARRY: Really? But it’s a cult movie. You should put it in your Netflix queue.

MOM LORI: I need to know what my first R-rated movie was. Do you think you have a ticket stub in one of your scrapbooks?

POP GARRY: Unlikely. Your sixth-grade ribbon for placing in the Greek Olympics long jump is in there, but I don’t recall any R-rated ticket stubs. Why is it so important to you?

MOM LORI: Because Charlotte wants to see this new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall and it's rated R. I don’t think she is ready for an "R."

POP GARRY: What about Pretty Woman?

MOM LORI: What about Pretty Woman?

POP GARRY: I thought that was going to be her first "R."

MOM LORI: Eventually she'll see all your movies, Dad. But I’m certainly not going to let her see the movie you made about the sex island.

POP GARRY: Exit to Eden was my midlife crisis movie. Don’t bash it. Everyone should have one of those. But I think Pretty Woman would be the perfect movie to introduce a kid to an R-rated story.

MOM LORI: What makes it the perfect movie? It’s the story of a sex-worker who gets paid $3,000 to be at a businessman’s beck and call. I don’t think there is anything appropriate about that for a 12-year-old. That being said, it is one of my favorite movies and, as you know, I am a longtime Richard Gere fan.

POP GARRY: What kind of word is sex-worker?

MOM LORI: It’s a comprehensive word that covers both men and women who work in a certain field.

POP GARRY: What happened to the words “hooker” and “prostitute”?

MOM LORI: Too gender specific.

POP GARRY: The world is too specific. I miss “general” and “vague.” What happened to “murky?”

MOM LORI: Fine. Make a case. Why do you think Pretty Woman should be her first "R" movie? Because her grandpa directed it and it made him a lot of money?

POP GARRY: Not necessarily.

MOM LORI: Well it did.

POP GARRY: Good! Then you should know that it is a film that is important to me because I directed it at a time in my life when I was at a financial low.

MOM LORI: Financial low? Meaning...

POP GARRY: Broke.

MOM LORI: True. But why would a movie about a sex-worker be appropriate for a sixth-grader to see as her first "R"?

POP GARRY: It’s a movie that shows you can be anything that you want to be.

MOM LORI: Like... for example... a sex worker?

POP GARRY: No. That’s the point of the movie. In the end she finds the courage and strength to get off the streets and make a better life for herself and go back to school.

MOM LORI: Julia Roberts also got a big career as a movie star out of that movie.

POP GARRY: And now she is a happy mom with three kids, too.

MOM LORI: I wonder when she is going to let Hazel, Phinneaus, and Henry see their first "R" movie?

POP GARRY: She should probably start out with Runaway Bride and work up to Pretty Woman.

MOM LORI: But it's so hard to decide when I have a friend who takes her second-grader to R-rated movies and has no problem with it. But then my other friends have 13-year-olds who have not seen an "R" yet. How do you decide when?

POP GARRY: I think you have to break it down into sex, violence, and lanaguage. There might be an "R" that has sex but no violence and maybe that would be okay for a certain kid.

MOM LORI: I think my girls would be more traumatized at this age by the violence than the sex. Like I would probably show them Knocked Up before I would take them to see 28 Weeks Later.

POP GARRY: I agree. I think language after 12 is not an issue because they hear it anyway, and I think girls handle violence and sex better than boys do. Boys have trouble with both and should start later, but if pushed, I think sex is better for them, because they make fun of sex.

MOM LORI: Well I think I’m going to let her see an "R" maybe this summer — after she turns 13 in June.

POP GARRY: Good idea. And will it be Pretty Woman?

MOM LORI: You’ll just have to wait to find out.

POP GARRY: Fine, but remember I do a really nice commentary on the DVD version, and I think she’ll get a kick out of that. I mean, I'm her cool Hollywood grandpa after all.