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August Dreams: The Innocence of Grandchildren

No Talent, No Patience Arts and Crafts

Kathy Griffin Elevates Us to the D List

Update: America's Grandparent Olympian

Back-to-School in Today's World

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 No Talent, No Patience Arts and Crafts
No Talent, No Patience Arts and Crafts
(And that's a good thing)

There’s only one problem with gathering the grandchildren for a creative afternoon of craft-making and that is: Making crafts. First off, crafty "fun" does not take an a ... read more
 Kathy Griffin Elevates Us to the <i>D List</i>
Kathy Griffin Elevates Us to the D List
Grandparents.com makes its Hollywood debut

When Kathy Griffin's people called offering us the opportunity to interview the redheaded comedian's mom on air, we jumped at the chance. Maggie Griffin, grandma of two (no, n ... read more
 Garry Marshall vs Lori Marshall: On Swim Lessons
Garry Marshall vs Lori Marshall: On Swim Lessons
When Garry Marshall, a writer, director, actor, and grandpa, disagrees with his daughter, Lori, a journalist, playwright, and mom, the truth becomes a laughing matter

POP GARRY: Listen to this one. Your brother just spent $1,000 on fancy swim lessons for his kids. MOM LORI: I'm sure it is not $1,000. You're exaggerating. POP GARRY: Well ... read more
 The Lazy Grandparents
The Lazy Grandparents' Guide to Grandparenting
GrumPa is at it again, this time grousing about his disdain for grandparenting. What a surprise.

Confession is good for the soul, right? Then this must be open season for soul-cleansing because people seem to be falling over each other, desperate to spill their guts about ... read more
 Crazy Grandma
Crazy Grandma
Everybody's got at least one wacky relative. We defy you to find one as, shall we say, spirited, as Hattie.

"My friends aren't welcome at the bar?" Hattie nodded silently. Her friends knew what was coming. They'd seen that silent nod before. If her new boss had any idea that he'd ... read more
 Garry Marshall vs Lori Marshall: On Movie Ratings
Garry Marshall vs Lori Marshall: On Movie Ratings
When Garry Marshall, a writer, director, actor, and grandpa, disagrees with his daughter, Lori, a journalist, playwright, and mom, the truth becomes a laughing matter

MOM LORI: Think back. At what age did you take me to my first R-rated movie? POP GARRY: Jaws. You hid under the seat the entire movie. And we had to fish you out when the cr ... read more
 Clinton, McCain, and Obama: The Grandparent Side
Clinton, McCain, and Obama: The Grandparent Side
What kind of grandparents would our presidential candidates make?

Clearly, all three of our by-now-exhausted, and highly caffeinated politicians, have worked their pollsters off, trying to become Leader of the Free World. As part of the proc ... read more
 When GrandGear Runneth Over
When GrandGear Runneth Over
Got too much grandkid stuff hanging around? You're not alone.

I don’t know about you, but the only grandchild memorabilia I keep around is a single picture of the kid, which I update whenever I’m sent a new picture… li ... read more
 Your Dirty Deeds: To Tell or Not to Tell
Your Dirty Deeds: To Tell or Not to Tell
Contrary to the cookie-cutter way you portray yourself to your grandkids, your salacious past made you the fun-loving grandparent you are today. Those moments should just never creep into dinner conversation... or can they?

There are secrets we keep, some not even suitable for virgin ears. These tales of debauchery and wrong-doing may even include tidbits your own children don’t even know & ... read more
 Grandpa Goes to the Gym
Grandpa Goes to the Gym
Find your gym type. Then change it, for your grandchild's sake.

Recently, when our 4-year-old granddaughter, Alexandra, called to chat, I happened to mention that I had just returned from the gym. Hearing that, she was absolutely astonishe ... read more
 Garry Marshall vs. Lori Marshall: On Discipline
Garry Marshall vs. Lori Marshall: On Discipline
When writer, director, actor, grandpa Garry Marshall disagrees with his daughter Lori, a journalist, playwright, mom, the truth becomes a laughing matter


POP GARRY: I sent your daughter Charlotte an e-mail last week and she hasn't written back. MOM LORI: It'll be a few days. I had to take away her laptop. POP GARRY: Why? Wa ... read more
 Ask GrumPa
Ask GrumPa
Our crusty humor columnist tries his hand at giving advice

Dear GrumPa, My son informed me that his wife is pregnant. I am like way too young and pretty to be a granny. What’s a girl to do? Like Way Too Young Dear Like Way, ... read more
 What Your Grandkids Dont
What Your Grandkids Don't Like About You
Face it, you annoy them. Lotsa luck trying to change things.

Like most grandfathers, I’ve learned that grandchildren are the most exciting thing to happen to me since I first qualified for Denny’s Senior Specials. Our grandd ... read more
 Yearning for a Grandchild? Maybe you Have <i>Grand-Kidus Expectus</i>
Yearning for a Grandchild? Maybe you Have Grand-Kidus Expectus
The following extract from The New England Journal of Really Weird Psychological Stuff is from a groundbreaking paper authored by one of the society's most distinguished members, Dr. Frank Lee Earnest.

FLE: Let me note, I have focused on one troubled couple –– the first I had encountered with this phenomenon, which I’ve named Grand-Kidus Expectus. The patho ... read more
 10 Worst Things to Say to Your Grandchild
10 Worst Things to Say to Your Grandchild
Slips of the tongue are a grandparent's provenance. Just beware the biggies.

1. “I agree with you, darling. I think a snake would be a wonderful pet. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to your parents." Regardless of the animal or reptile invol ... read more
 No Grandchildren?
No Grandchildren?
Let's show a little compassion for anyone whose kids haven't cooperated


The other night, while devouring a sushi-grade tuna burger at my favorite tavern, I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation between two couples at a nearby booth. &ldq ... read more
 VIDEO: Bill Cosbys
VIDEO: Bill Cosby's Classic Riff on Grandparents
Enjoy Cosby's classic riff on Grandparenthood, straight from YouTube.

Remember this classic riff on grandparents from Bill Cosby's 1983 Bill Cosby: Himself? Filmed in front of a live audience at the Hamilton Place Theatre in Hamilton, Ontario, h ... read more
 Opposing Thumbs: The Fine Art of Texting
Opposing Thumbs: The Fine Art of Texting
These days, even answering the phone is complicated.

Back in the '70s, Tom Robbins’s novel, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, introduced his readers to Sissy Hankshaw, a young lady born with enormous thumbs. I was reminded of S ... read more
 The Name Game
The Name Game
You want Grandpa. You get Vlack-Vlack Baba. Deal with it.

Grown men and women are brought to their emotional knees slobbering over the thought of becoming a grandparent. They spend months imagining the joys of bonding with a few poun ... read more
 10 Places to Hide this Holiday Season
10 Places to Hide this Holiday Season
We all agree that the holidays are a magical time of year. However, when the grandkids start screaming, your son-in-law wants to talk politics, and your spouse says something about the dishes, we all need a place to hide....

The gym. No one will guess you finally used that free guest pass that's been on the fridge for months, the one that sits next to your weight chart from 2003. Note: You don't h ... read more
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