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Here's another Question of the Week. When it comes to the way your grandchildren are raised, do you speak your mind or hold your tongue? Feel free to post your response below. You can make it long or short and there are no wrong answers.
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mattlaw
08/20/08 @ 05:03 PM
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Flag as inappropriate
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1
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Hold my tongue, unless I am asked or if there is a safety issue involved.
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zman21
08/21/08 @ 01:02 PM
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Flag as inappropriate
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2
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It depends. I give advice if it's for something health or safety related, but I stay out of the way on every day issues. EXCEPT, for the fact that my grandson is 18 months old and hasn't had a hair cut yet. My daughter in law wants a "ponytail for the baby book". We keep telling mom and dad the name of my husband's barber - and I even threw a little pink barrette in his diaper bag when we returned him home!!! Subtle advice, but still not taken.
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momof6300
08/21/08 @ 01:06 PM
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Flag as inappropriate
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3
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I try to be subtle on little things but if it's a safety issue, I will definitely speak up! My grandson is nearly 3 and is still sleeping with his mom and dad! That's an issue I'd really like to bring up!
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bjspr48
08/21/08 @ 01:34 PM
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4
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It depends....I have learned to just give suggestions.....Unless of course it's a safety issue. My daughter in law and I butted heads in the beginning after my first grandchild was born. Now she calls me often for advice.
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ladyjoon
08/21/08 @ 01:35 PM
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5
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I give advice (solicited and unsolicited) all the time. I think that my grandchild is an asset to our family and an heir to our "kingdom". My children have always know me as the "Queen Mother"--literally. Even though they are adults, I still treat them with royalty with kisses and special time together. It is also a time to learn that becoming a prince is not easy, but attainable.
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dhorton41
08/21/08 @ 01:39 PM
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Flag as inappropriate
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6
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I hold my tongue a LOT... although I see my grandson becoming a bully and a brat. I PRAY that he will outgrow it,, someone will have to give him an attitude adjustment... Hope its not TOO painful!
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Meme123
08/21/08 @ 01:44 PM
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7
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I let my daugthers do the rasing my grandkids,but when i have to say something i will.
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watleyjm
08/21/08 @ 02:22 PM
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8
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I hold my tongue because this is their life and if they want my advice they will ask me. When they do ask me, I try to lead them into their own decision by giving different examples or share past experiences of others or of them when they were little. It's a different world now, they have a lot more issues than I ever had to deal with.
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grandmajoy
08/21/08 @ 02:23 PM
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9
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I TRY to hold my tongue, but do have my say when there are safety issues. I have more than once been told to mind my own business.. but I helped raise 2 of my grandchildren, so I will speak up when I think it is needed.
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GIGIOF4
08/21/08 @ 02:24 PM
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10
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As a step-father I try to always let my step-daughter know that anything or advice I give comes with love. As a step-father it is a very fine line that I have to tread. Her mother and I have been "together" for twenty-eight plus years and by "together" I mean we still maintain our own homes but do travel together and do spend time together but do not live together. It is further complicated by the fact that this is an adopted daughter for her mother. She has for years now called me Dad of which I am very proud and I have always called her daughter. I do have children of my own, two boys and two daughters but she has always known that she and all of the children are treated the same. There is no difference between any of them. To even make it more diffalcate my own children are from three different mothers and the fact that spent thirty-two and a half years in the military.
see link
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oreillydoc1
08/21/08 @ 02:34 PM
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11
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I stay out of any problems they may be having at the moment. I feel that any comments from me, could offend either parent,and would make me an unwelcome visitor in the future.
see link
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pennestri
08/21/08 @ 02:36 PM
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12
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I do my best to keep my comments and suggestions to myself. My grandkids have great parents
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Gwenjw
08/21/08 @ 03:59 PM
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13
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I usually wait until asked, I do offer advice to my grgranddaughter, mainly in health matters as I am a nurse and she's not been around kids before. Most parents have their own ideas and they will find what's right for them.
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MissJeanne
08/21/08 @ 04:02 PM
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14
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Two weeks ago my husband went overboard with advice to both our son-in-law and our daughter about riding the children (especially the 2 year old boy) on his motorcycle, and it turned out to be a major verbal altercation that involved the whole history of a son-in-law that we have had difficulty connecting with for almost 19 years. The son-in-law says we can never see the grandchildren again, cannot give them gifts, etc.
I had just retired after 35 years of high school teaching and agreed with my granddaughter who has some learning issues to be her support from now until she finishes high school. The son-in-law, who is jealous of our help and of the affection the children have for us, was cautiously agreeing for me to help her. I got my husband to the doctor after the incident, and he is now on some effective medications, but the few gains are lost.
It is best to speak to one's child, not the in-law, unless they have this "we always tell each other everything" mentality. I would then say that grandparents have to "pick their battles" and then speak in kindness. Above all, keep praying.
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RoRo
08/21/08 @ 04:46 PM
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